Diary entry – Seven months and 1 day

Hey Diary,

Been a long week and sleep has been sketchy at best. I really do miss sleeping longer than two or three hours at a time.

My hand and arm feels like I rolled it in glass shards a lot today and it is cold but half asleep and achy . So weird that it can have so many different things going on.

sometimes I feel like it needs to go but I know that is not the solution but saying it out loud makes the statement feel absurd. anyways time to go to work, talk to you soon.

One day at a time

May the unicorns never see you coming

Diary entry – Six months and 24 days

Dear Diary,

Sorry for the lapse in time it has been hard to want to write. But I must at least try even on the really bad days. Lack of sleep and constant pain fill every day and adjusting to not being able to do many things because of this is a bit depressing. It is a life altering thing that not only you have to adjust to but also your family and it is pretty humbling when you need to have your teenage daughter help you get your shoes on everyday.  Went without sleep for two days last week but I have managed a few hours here and there so can’t complain. Some sleep is better than none. New years eve was a level 10 or more and I am pretty sure Christmas and holiday work had caught up with me and it was just super tired and done with life overall that day. Not sure how the pain scale is working anymore, I mean if you are in constant pain doesn’t the level rise since your tolerance increases? I am sure it is wonky after a while.

Had physical therapy as well today and it was rough but they usually are and my shoulder motion is getting better so that is a plus. The hot wax bath felt seriously hotter than usual today.

I did finally get through to one of my workman comp doctors and have an appointment. I really hope he lets me try a few of the drugs that help with nerve pain and also sleep is a side affect, (wouldn’t that be nice). I found a couple that are non addicting but help with chronic pain. But we will see, I am a month away from my appointment.

Anyways Diary I must go to work now.

One day at a time

May the unicorns never catch you

Diary entry – Six months and sixteen days

Hello Diary,

It has been a couple of days since I have checked in but I have been spending time with the family. It was nice, it has been a while since I had seen my parents and in-laws.

I took a lot of Aleve and Advil these past few days and sleep has been spotty at best.  Last night I contemplated losing the hand completely up to the elbow, but I didn’t and I am preparing for work tonight. Hopefully it will be slow and uneventful.

I do think something is wrong with it (left hand), I have less control of the thumb and index finger and I used to be able to hold a piece of paper with them. I have physical therapy in the morning so hopefully I will know more then. The crawlies are in full force today along with that deep pain I mentioned yesterday. I left a message for my Workman comp doctors so hopefully one of them will get back to me this week.

It has been a long week Diary and I am very tired, I am so blessed to have a great husband and kids. He has been amazing through all of this.

I will let you know tomorrow diary, how work tonight went and how physical therapy goes.

One day at a time Diary, one day at a time.

May the unicorns never catch you.

Diary entry – Six months and eleven days

Hello Diary getting my entry in before work. I did sleep for a few hours last night and then at four in the morning my left hand jolted me right out of sleep. Those are one of the worst things being woken up by the pain, it is somewhat unsettling. I had tremors and deep pain from my shoulder to the tips of my fingers, not much I can do about it until I can manage to fall asleep again, which I did about eight o clock for a few more hours. So nice to get that nap, especially since I work today.  I know the Four Aleve are trying to help, it’s something at least.

Now to bundle up, working in the doorway is freezing and getting the hand cold is painful. I wear the compression glove and then the compression sleeve over that and then next with the softest mitten I could find (It’s not but has to do). I put my warm jacket on and then I have a wool sleeve with a thumb-hole to cover the layers. On especially cold days I use a little hot hands packet to ward off a bit more of the nippy air. It sits nicely under the very top layer, since i don’t want it against the skin.  It is three degrees out right now so I will be bundling up the left hand a bit more than usual.

I miss the days when I didn’t have to worry about things like this or having to deal with it twenty-four seven. I know I’m not alone but some days it can feel really lonely. “Sigh” I best be going I will update you when I return from work if I have the energy.

One day at a time

May the unicorns never catch you