Diary entry – Eight months and 3 days

Hey Diary,

I know it has been a really long time since we last talked and I am really sorry. A lot has happened since then and i’m really tired. I still do not have the results of my IME, but I know it can take months to get those results back from the insurance company. Work is work, it is hard to do anymore but I go since we can use the money and it keeps me moving. My husband has been a rock in all this and I definitely couldn’t do this without him. I am pretty sure he is the reason I haven’t severed my arm off. Some days are so bad diary that I just want the arm/hand to go away. One day at a time I keep telling myself.

I seen my pain doctor for a checkup to see how the calcitonin is doing. It has cut my severe joint pain in half and that is a relief. Especially since I can’t use my fingers, hand or do much with my arm on the left side. I showed him the medicines I researched for nerve pain that are non addicting but should help. I hate taking drugs but at this point I’ll try it. All these medicines have horrible side affects and can have really bad results if you stop suddenly. He liked Gabapentin and prescribed it to me. I am now on my fifth day of this drug and today I double it.

The one nice thing about Gabapentin is that I can sleep more than an hour at a time. I now get four to five hours at a time. So nice to actually sleep and dream again. I haven’t had a real dream in almost 5 months.

Now the bad part about Gabapentin is that I feel odd and I dislike how dizzy I feel and off-balance.  Hopefully that will lesson as time goes on. My left arm/hand pain has increased since being on it but hopefully it will acclimate to the drug.

Most days diary my pain is at a level seven to eight, if I could get it to a three I think I could live with that.

Also when my left hand gets cold nothing helps and I cannot find a fabric I can stand to touch yet with it.

Wish me luck diary.

One day at a time

May the unicorns never catch you

The left hand exists!!